My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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