forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this will be a night to untag.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
