i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
