dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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