im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
