so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
