Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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