did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
