you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
