Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
