Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
