Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Michael Bay diarrhea
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
