put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
