This show inspires me to have sex in space
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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