tell your sister to shave her snatch
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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