Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky

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(619): View more from California

She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus

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(970): View more from Colorado

the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.

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(815): View more from Illinois

So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.

(815): View more from Illinois

Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.

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(512): View more from Texas

Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!

(1-512): View more from Texas

I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?

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