4 words: hood of his car
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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