it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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