i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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