dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
