Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
