that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
