Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.

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(951): View more from California

I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..

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(905): View more from Ontario

We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.

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(216): View more from Ohio

I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it

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(858): View more from California

I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life

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