Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
