And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
