She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
