Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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