Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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