So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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