that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
