well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She bit a glass in half.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
