I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
