You don't have asthma, your pregnant
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
