i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
