I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
