Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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