i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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