I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
