yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
