The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
