it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
