Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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