Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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