We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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