I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
