The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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