I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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