one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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