Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
FUCK WHALES
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
