i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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